Tuesday, 3 March 2009

WWE Bottom Line

We are nearing the time when we go to Zithulele (start work 9 March) and filled with some really strong feelings – lots about race, as we are clearly going from white-tastic rich places to the Eastern Cape, where all of the back people were sent during apartheid. The pump is broken so there has been no running water in Zithulele since Wednesday. It is almost difficult to remain focused on this fantastic holiday, but we soldier on. Kim and I are in Hogsback perched on a cliff with the most breathtaking view either of us has had from a bed. We are staying at ‘the Edge’, which is mentally good.

We spent the last few days in a family home, having great craic and not a few beers.

We left Franschhoek and drove towards Port Elizabeth to see my mate Gareth’s pal Mike. We went passed some cool stuff because we wanted to get there for the weekend. It is a funny thing though, going to meet a friend’s friend. It is just a fact that some of my mates’ pals are a-holes. But the contact we had had, had lead me to think that Mike would be a good guy. I just used the word ‘had’ three times in a row, which makes me some kind of wonderful.

Sean Michaels is currently fighting Mark Henry, the Strongest Man in the World. Kim, as you would guess, is utterly engrossed. And he has just kicked the strong man out of the ring and someone has just picked up a chair and OH MY GOD this is getting intense...

Anyway, we got to the Spar near Mike’s place and were met by a grinning man in shades with a crate of very large bottles of beer. I had to do a double take to make sure that he wasn’t Paul Richardson’s twin brother. And yay we went back to the ranch to open the beer. An amazing house, full of old books and photos on the wall and that nice feeling of 1970s and 80s stuff that I love. They had Reader’s Digests in the loo, where I was to spend some happy times.

Mike and Adriana, his very recent wife, couldn’t have been nicer and neither could Errol and Janice, Mike’s folks. Uncle G also made an appearance as Mike began to braai. Apparently wood is where it is at and I need to put an end to my charcoal nonsense. There initiated my education in fire management. I have, of course, studied informally under my father, but the last couple of days at Mike’s Open University has taught me of dry SA wood and the nuances of the wood lattice. Errol was supervisor in chief and was not slow to offer the youth his wisdom. His generosity is clear. And then, out of nowhere, came a whole chicken, spatchcocked and spread as flat as one can reasonably spread a chicken. This was to be cooked, and it was cooked and we did verily eat it.

After that we had some beer. And then we had another beer and then Mike (who is a bad man) brought out the tequila and literally forced it down our throats. It was a ghastly nightmare. Errol told us that he has given up drinking so it was particularly unfair for Mike to be continually re-filling his glass.

During the days I wobbled around like a zombie, waiting for the sanctity of the evening, the braai smoke and the beer. Mike ensured that we achieved stuff, from an audacious 9k walk in the bush, to a trip to a lion park, to watching a cracking game of Super 14 rugby, which the (Durban) Sharks won against New Zealand opposition. And then he supplied us with further braais and beers to prepare the next day’s hangover.

I have not experienced hospitality like it. What a lovely family. Can’t thank them enough.

Oh no, the Undertaker is on his way into the ring (at 299 pounds), and Randy Orton still looks confident but you have to wonder why because this time he really looks to have bitten off more than he can chew. My spine is chill-ed.

Actually it is not fair to say that I have not experienced hospitality like it, as so many people have been so good to us, putting us up and helping us out with things. Not fair to compare, really. We are enormously grateful to all and determined to return the favour and be outrageously hospitable to all and sundry in future.

We bade farewell to Mike and Adriana first thing this morning and left Errol on the couch watching the cricket at about 10am. Mike’s mum Janice said goodbye before heading off to yoga. It was like leaving our family, and we will be back to see the Howards this year.

Randy Orton has pulled some heinous trick, bringing two friends into the ring to tackle the Undertaker. He is not a man.

2 comments:

  1. The hospitality you have received sounds amazing. As one of "the parents", I can't thank these wonderful people enough. Hope the transition to work mode isn't too difficult.

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  2. Excellent use of "spatchcocked" there, Mr S. Keep up the good work.

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