Things that I saw this weekend that you probably didn’t

I was driving along the pothole road. I’ve got pretty good at dodging them by now. But there is a new scam. The kids have got spades and piles of dirt and act like they are filling the holes when you get close. They stop immediately after you pass. I encouraged the work by smiling and putting (both of) my thumbs up to them. I suppose they felt much improved after the exchange.

On Friday I attended and spoke at a ceremony to mark the official opening of Ngcwanguba clinic’s new (ish) prefab unit. You can try to pronounce the name of the clinic now and I will wait for you. Finished? That was pathetic. But at least you tried. A Joburg firm called Fabricated Steel Manufacturers donated the building, which now houses consulting rooms from which the ARV programme is run. There is also space for the HIV support group to meet – an improvement on a bit of grass in the rain.

FSM is run by a bloke called Felix Clemens. Felix attended and was accompanied by a classy pair in Hans and Elody, Chairman and shareholder, respectively and not a couple. They were delightful and pleased to come and see where we are and what we are about.

The ceremony was ace. Lots of ceremonial dancing and ululating (you can say that and all) went on, with local school kids performing traditional dancey stuff, as well as a short skit where a girl tried to persuade her boyfriend to test for HIV. He was not convinced at first but ended up getting into it and getting some counselling. The ARV support group gave a rowdy performance with drums and awesome singing. Doctor Iber whispered that he was pleased to see one woman who had once been at deaths door gyrating like a goodun. Good old ARVs; they keep you alive and enable you to live a full life. Some anyway. Best bit for me was when 4 teenage guys came in traditional garb, topless with beads on and sticks in hand. They did some facing off and a mad vibrating of the chest and shoulder area that I would struggle to imitate. The culmination was two facing off, nearly touching and giving it a good old vibrate. It was intense.

The event started bang on time at 9am. Except for the fact that it didn’t start until nearly 11am. I am getting used to it by now, and thus may well struggle when I get back to working in the UK. Hans gave a lovely speech, emphasising that FSM was a 3 generation family business and one which looks after its workers. It went down well with the crowd. I simply had to say thanks and give a quick bit on what the Jabulani Foundation is. It was a pleasure.

Near the end of the event, when we were all losing the will to live after too many speeches, the ANC bloke got up. He started by admitting that he hadn’t been to school, before proving it by stating that HIV is caused by poor nutrition (wrongly interpreting a previous speech from a nutrition manager) and going on to say that the government was doing A LOT to improve things. The irony of him saying this at an event devoted to the private and NGO sector delivering what the public should was lost. He said that he was pleased to see this Foundation, “I forgot the name...”. I was delighted to hear the front couple of rows shout “JABULANI!”. So they know our name, which is good. I realised the importance of getting out and doing formal things to spread the name and what we are doing. My speech included a last minute spiel on the waiting mothers’ accommodation, which we need to advertise so that pregnant women know they can come and be near the hospital at the end of their term.

Today, at the Superspar in Mthatha, we were loading up with groceries and looking for the shortest queue. I could see that one had 4 guys at it, but they were huddled real close and looked to be together, and with no trolly. I pounced. And verily took the space behind them. They were, it seems, pissed. And they were also buying only one item – again, well done me for choosing that queue. The item was a pack of sanitary pads. What would 4 pissed Xhosa guys be doing buying a pack of Lillets? We will never know. They did not buy them. I can only assume that they didn’t have enough money.