Kim and I just got back from a romantic weekend at Mngazi River Lodge. It is posh and nicely done up and feeds you til you rupture something. When it is only for a weekend, you can really go for it and eat everything to destruction. Seafood platter, cooked breakfast, soup and a roast... We met a couple at the end of their week. When asked if they were hungry they answered that they did not know anymore and that all they knew was that they had to keep eating. They were broken and they still joined us in having seconds of pavlova as well as trying the fudge cream cake.
We got a couples massage. Me and Kim, not the other two. Needless to say, Kim was responsible for booking this frivolous package and I was all to prepared for another crap, soft, Swedish massage with too much oil and not enough pressing. I asked for a “hard massage, please”. Let me explain, I have had several excellent thai massages in my time. I used to have one every week when I was in Thailand and they were hard and they were great. So when I said to Loreen that I wanted a hard massage and that, yes, I had had massages before, she could see that I meant it.
She kicked the shit out of me. She went straight in with the elbow and relentlessly continued as I silently screamed through my face-hole at the bowl of pebbles and twigs that ornately faced me. Kim, it seems, was going through similar turmoil next to me, equally afraid to protest. Seems I am not the man I was in Thailand and I have simultaneously gained tension and lost hardiness in my back. After the beating, we retired to a spa bath thing with some pink champagne, which helped.
Face hole. Love it. I was wondering how you managed to get the other couples massage as well, thanks for clearing that up.
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